Dr Smith Jokes

Good News Dr. Smith asks his patient, ""Which do you want first, the good news or the bad news?"" Lou Gehrig replies, ""Give me the good news."" Dr. Smith says, ""You're about to have a disease named after you."" (That better?)

When it snows in Africa For the first time ever, it snowed in Africa! Something must be terribly wrong with global warming. Dr. Smith was a brilliant journalist interviewing top climate research institutes in Northern Africa. Being Caucasian, he always stood out in the crowd wherever he went. Africa was reasonably well developed today; people were very used to Caucasians especially from tourists. However, everywhere he went, people always chased after him. They called him ""Snow Angel"" because …

A white man in Northern Africa In the year 2100, a small country in Northern Africa started to snow 24/7 due to global warming. Dr. Smith was a brilliant European journalist interviewing top climate research institutes in this country. He was familiar with this country because this was where he got circumcised in his younger years due to his Jewish girlfriend's demand. Being Caucasian, Dr. Smith always stood out in the crowd wherever he went. Everywhere he went, people always chased after him. T…

Sevebty-year-old George. ... Seventy-year-old George went for his annual check-up. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said: ""But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"" A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said: ""Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims t…

George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, ""But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"" A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, ""Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him whe…

1. The patient refused autopsy. 2. The patient has no previous history of suicides. 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital. 4. Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days. 5. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 6. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 7. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it d…

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, ""George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"" George replied, ""God and me are very close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (p…

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, ""George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"" George replied, ""God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!)…

It was only three times... promise. Sam was very ill and it looked like the end might be approaching so he calls his wife Becky near. Sam says to her, "Becky, I was wondering - have you ever cheated on me?" Becky replies, "Oh Sam, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..." "Yes, Becky, I really want to know. Please..." "Well, all right. Yes, 3 times..." "Three? Well, when were they?" he asked. "Well, Sam, remember when you were 35 years old and you reall…

A scientist discovers the cure for aging In the near future, a scientist makes the revolutionary discovery of a cure for aging. Filled with enthusiasm, he is immediately prompted to the political leaders of his country. 'This is truly amazing, Dr Smith! But before we can finally authorize the distribution of your medicine to the general population, we must know whether there any drawbacks to it?' 'That's the great part: There aren't any! It's non-toxic, non-addictive and 100% safe. But, ... w…

Physical Seventy-eight year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God? "George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on and I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off! "Wow," commented Dr…

A flat chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts. Dr. Smith advised her

Dr. Smith is checking a little boy named Tom. Placing the stethoscope he said, “Naughty boy, now take a long breath and say Five, three times.” Tom is great at math. He always gets 100 out of 100. He said quickly, “Doctor, its 15!”