Dog Jokes

*at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER

MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL

FAKE BREEDS I'VE TOLD PEOPLE MY DOG IS AT THE DOG PARK: Venetian Dabney, Brown Feta, Waxbeard, Oxnard Pike, Blue Hustler, High Presbyterian

*wakes up drenched in sweat* WAS BINGO THE FARMER OR THE DOG?

my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG

My kids wouldn't stop asking me who my favorite is so I said the dog & now they're crying and I'm like THIS IS WHY THE DOG IS MY FAVORITE.

A woman pregnant with triplets gets shot 3 times in the gut. They rush her to the hospital and everything turns out ok. The babies are all fine. 12 years later one of her daughters comes to her worried ""mom mom mom i was peeing and a bullet came out!"" ""Thats strange."" Says the mom. A few days after that her other daughter rushes up ""MOM MOM MOM i was peeing and a bullet came out!"" ""Thats really strange"" says the mom. A few more weeks pass without issue, then her son comes up to her ""MOM…

Gorrila poachers A man joins two poachers who had recently lost one of their hunting partners. They are in the forest setting up and one of the poachers is explaining to the newbie how they go about capturing the gorrilas. They put the net on the ground under the tree that the gorrila is in to capture it. So that they can get a clear shot off on the gorrila so they don't harm the pelt as that would bring down its value, they have a dog that bites the gorilla's balls to stun it. To get the gorril…

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT. A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00). He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin It's mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural-looking open water for the ducks to focus on, somethin…

An enterprising mayor of the city of Granby Quebec a community south of Montreal established a municipal zoo that has become a significant tourist attraction. It has also given rise to many unusual events. Last September one of the star attractions Arnold an Indonesian ape escaped to the dismay of the zoo director. The matter was a serious one because the members of the staff of the zoo while expert at caring for animals had no experience whatsoever in rounding them up or capturing them. The …