*at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER

MISSING: SUPER ADORABLE PUPPY. WILL COME IF YOU PLAY WU-TANG HELLA LOUD. THIS IS NOT A PLOY TO GET THE NEIGHBORHOOD BUMPIN', THE DOG IS REAL

*wakes up drenched in sweat* WAS BINGO THE FARMER OR THE DOG?

my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG