Andy Jokes

Several years ago Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over. The…

Andy: ""Doc I had the worst dream of my life last night. I dreamed I was with twelve of the most beautiful chorus girls in the world. Blondes brunettes redheads all dancing in a row."" Doctor: ""Hold it Andy. That doesn't sound so terrible."" Andy: Oh yeah? In the dream I was the third girl from the end.""

Andy was sent to prison Several years ago

DAE ever wonder if Andy would be disappointed in OP for not delivering? I went for corny.

Why is a gay guy dating someone named Andy particularly useful? Because he might come in Andy

Do you know Andy Griffith's wife? OP's mom

Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely. Finally, after much persuasion, she consented to go out on a date with Andy, a gentleman her daughter fixed her up with. Andy picked her up and they went to a very secluded spot to have a picnic. Andy had also been divorced for quite some time and found himself very attracted to Rosemary. Despite her initial resistance to his advances, he finally suceeded in making love to her. Rosemary was mortified at her lack of self…

Things never to say to a cop: 1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) 2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in. 3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People? 4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job! 5. Are You Andy or Barney? 6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer. 7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you? 8. I pay your salary! 9. Gee, Officer! That's …

Knock Knock Who's there? Almond! Almond who? Almond the side of the law! 1670. Knock Knock Who's there? Andrew! Andrew who? Andrew a picture! 1671. Knock Knock Who's there? Andy! Andy who? Andy mosquito bit me again! 1672. Knock Knock Who's there? Astor! Astor who? Astor the ball is over!