And Jesus Jokes

Lord is my Savior Father Jones was barely alive, clinging to the remaining wooden flanks of the sinking ship he was on. Rescue boats were busy rescuing other survivors in the ocean as soon as possible, but Father Jones wouldn't want any of that for himself. Being an ardent believer, he insisted *''Lord is my savior!''*, when a lifeboat came to rescue him. After almost an hour, another rescue boat came to search for anyone remaining alive, and they spotted Father Jones, who, as usual, insisted *'…

The day of The Crucifixion comes. Jesus is having a really bad day. He suffers the accusations, the flaying, the denials, then gets marched out of town to spend the rest of the day on a plank of wood. He's up there, pretty bummed out. Eventually, Peter comes before Jesus where he hangs, looks up to him and says, weeping. ""....<moan>...oh..oh Lord. I'm so sorry. For everything, it's so...I m-mean, you were RIGHT! You were right about everything! You said you would be betrayed, you said I w…

And Jesus said unto his disciples ""Whom do men say that I am?"" And His disciples answered unto Him ""Master thou art the supreme eschatological manifestation of omnipotent ecclesiastical authority the absolute divine sacerdotal monarch."" And Jesus said ""What?""

Moses and Jesus are standing on the bank of the Red Sea in their retirement Jesus turns to Moses and says, "Hey Moses, remember when you parted the Red Sea? That must've been amazing to see! So upset I missed it. Do you think you'd be able to do it again?" Moses blushed, "for you?! Of course!" So he stands up and hobbles over to the water and hit his staff on the ground. And nothing happened. He turns back to Jesus, a little embarassed, "Let me try that one more time.." He moves closer to the …