Albuquerque Jokes

An Orchestra in Albuquerque in July A travelling orchestra had planned on being in Albuquerque in January and Minneapolis in July. However, their manager got the dates wrong and the group ended up doing a three-day run in an outdoor theater in Albuquerque in the middle of the July heat. The event was exhausting and by the third night, everyone was just hoping to survive one more concert and move on. During the last song - Beethoven's Ninth - the bass players in the back of the orchestra hatch a …

Indian On The Road I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".

A man is at the airport counter checking in his luggage. The man said to the agent, "I'm flying to Los Angeles but I would like this bag to go to Portland, this one to Albuquerque, and this one to Sioux Falls." The agent looked suitably shocked and said, "Sir, there is no way we can do that." "Why not?", replied the man, "You did it last time".

True encounter at Wendys About two decades ago, a lady in central CA claimed to have found a severed finger in her Wendy’s chili. Her scam was eventually revealed in court, iirc. What I did in Albuquerque the week following the news of the chili finger, was to ask the Wendy’s drive thru clerk for extra fingers in my chili, being the smart-ass that I am. Without any hesitation whatsoever, the order-taker came back with, “sorry sir, that’s only in our California stores”.

A husband and wife on a holiday were driving through New Mexico. As they approached Albuquerque, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the name of the city. The husband thought it was pronounced like Albu-que-que, while the wife thought it was pronounced like Albu-kway-kway. They argued back and forth, then they stopped for lunch. At the counter, the husband said to the restaurant worker, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us? Can you please pronounce the name of the p…