Abbey Jokes

To show off my "Downton Abbey etiquette" at the gym, I don't throw punches at the punching bag. I just say something witty and cruel to it.

I've never seen 'Downton Abbey', but I did see the episode of 'Roseanne' when Becky "cut the cheese" at least 50 times.

"The Force Awakens" had 0 people riding giant CGI lizards. How is that even science fiction? They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."

A monk joins an abbey ready to dedicate his life to copying ancient books by hand... After the first day though, he reports to the head priest. He's concerned that all the monks have been copying copies made from still more copies. ""If someone made a mistake,"" he points out. ""It would be impossible to detect. Even worse, the error would continue to be made."" A bit startled, the priest decides he better check their latest effort against the original which is kept in a vault beneath the abbey.…

The Nun and her Abbess A Nun was living in an abbey and had taken a vow of silence. After living there for a year the Abbess calls her to her office and says. ""You have been silent for one year now. I lift your vow so that you may speak one sentence."" the Nun thinks for a moment and says. ""My floor is too cold"" The Abbess nods and thanks the Nun letting her get back to her duties. Another year goes by and again the Abbess summons the Nun to her office. ""You have lived, and worked among us f…

Has there ever been a bad joke about a priest? *Posted this in /r/funny, then I was informed that /r/jokes existed, so here it goes.* A monk joins an abbey ready to dedicate his life to copying ancient books by hand. After the first day though, he reports to the head priest. He's concerned that all of the monks have been copying from copies made from still more copies. ""If someone makes a mistake,"" he points out. ""It would be impossible to detect. Even worse, the error would continue to be ma…

Knock Knock Who's there ! Abbey ! Abbey who ? Abbey stung me on the nose !

A priest is walking through Kings Cross (a rough area of town), when a woman approached him and says "Do you want a naughty? 200 bucks." "Certainly not," he mutters and hurries on. Soon he passed near another woman who says "$200 for a naughty. Interested?" "No thank you," he replies flusteredly. As he comes near a third woman she again offers him a naughty for $200, which he of course refuses. Arriving back at the abbey, he happens upon the Mother Superior. Curiosity gets the better of him…

Bus full of nuns A bus full of nuns was returning to the abbey from a trip. Unfortunately

Mary and Abbey who? Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Mary and Abbey. Mary and Abbey who? Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year!