Lord Jesus Jokes

Everyone is an atheist until you zip your fly up too quick Then its all Lord Jesus please help

Jesus called out to the apostle Paul...... Paul approached the cross ""My Lord, what can I do,"" The Roman guards shoved Paul back into the crowd, again Jesus called out to Paul and as he approached again the guards once again shoved him back this time warning, ""approach again and you will go up next to him."" Paul approached for the 3rd time as Jesus called for him and the guards were true to their words. After being nailed up next to Jesus, Paul again asked ""what can I do for you my Lord."" …

An Important Message From Jesus Jesus is nearing the end, hanging on the cross high upon a hill in Jerusalem as people yell at him and mock him from behind the watch of guards. In a weakened voice, he whispers ""John, my son, come here. There is something I need to tell you."" John steps forward; ""anything my Lord, what is it?"" ""Closer, John"" Jesus replies. John begins to walk towards Jesus. ""Another step and I'll cut off your arm!"" yells a guard. John stops. ""Closer...."" Jesus says soft…

Has there ever been a bad joke about a priest? *Posted this in /r/funny, then I was informed that /r/jokes existed, so here it goes.* A monk joins an abbey ready to dedicate his life to copying ancient books by hand. After the first day though, he reports to the head priest. He's concerned that all of the monks have been copying from copies made from still more copies. ""If someone makes a mistake,"" he points out. ""It would be impossible to detect. Even worse, the error would continue to be ma…