You and your happiness can go straight to Walmart. Or whereever your "hell" is.

My wife just told me to go to hell, anyone else need anything from Walmart?

A terminally ill woman comes to visit her priest in the miswest one last time... ""Father, I would like to tell you my wishes for how I plan on leaving the mortal world."" ""Yes, Betty. Tell me."" ""I would like to be cremated."" ""Unorthodox, but ok."" ""And I would like my ashes to be buried underneath the women's health section in walmart."" ""Excuse me, miss? Why would you do that?"" ""So my sons visit me twice a week.""

The Indian at Walmart An Indian goes to Walmart in the U.S. He finds cat food at special prices. He picks a dozen cans of cat food & goes to check out. The Manager gets suspicious. He thinks that this guy might not have a cat & will probably feed cat food to his kids. He asks the Indian to show him his cat before he could let him have cat food. The Indian goes home & returns with a cat & gets to buy the cat food. Next week the Indian finds dog food at special prices. He picks a d…