I just wish my ex-wife could look down from Heaven and see me now. But no, she's still alive.

Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.

Relax lady, you can quit giving me dirty evil looks. I don't want my own husband, so I sure as hell don't want yours.

Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *