On a positive note, once Trump becomes president and burns the world to the ground, our student loan debt is essentially wiped clean

I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It'd be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage.

Me: What do you want to be when you grow up? 2-year-old: An eagle! I'm going to save so much money on college.

I was the Wikipedia of my school. People expected me to help with their homework, but completely ignored my constant requests for money.