I like twitter because having one-sided conversations with virtually no feedback reminds me a lot of being a parent.

"Daddy?" "Yes?" "What are you doing?" "Writing a fictional conversation so I can post it on Twitter."

Tried explaining Twitter to my dad, but his "why would you want to do that?" argument was pretty bulletproof.

STOP WHINING KIDS! If mommy wants to listen to a bunch of people whining for no reason, she'll log into twitter.