Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

"David you're late again!" "Sorry boss.." [cut to: me running on all fours through a forest chasing deer] "...traffic"

Cop: Lets go, boys, no meth in this house. *zoom to fish tank* Fish 1: *nods* Fish 2: [taps on pirate ship] Resume cooking, Lenny. *bubbles*

Me: I've lost my kitten Cop: How would you best describe him? Me: He looks like a miniature cat