Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Boss: Are you high? Me: [trying to photocopy a dog] are you a cop?

If you ask a police dog if he's a good boy, legally he has to tell you.

Customs Police: Do you have anything to claim? Me: A hot dog is a sandwich. Cop: "Please step out of the vehicle"