😄 Since twitter, I don't go from home to car to work to car to home I go from charger to charger to ch...

Twitter takes me places I've never been before. Take oncoming traffic for example.

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Friend's Fb post: In search of a coat hanger My comment: Are you pregnant or are you locked out of your car? I've been on Twitter too long

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Hey people that twitter says are "similar to me", where do people like us put our car keys?!?!?!

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My bank has informed me that Twitter followers can not be used as collateral for a car loan. You guys are useless.

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