While Twitter is the slutty wife we all share, Facebook has become the humorless mother-in-law we all endure.

If you're new to Twitter from Facebook, you can just reply "Like" to all of my tweets. I'll understand

If Facebook Was Real me: cool shirt Brian Brian: thanks [hours later, a knock at my door] me: um yes? Brian's Mom: I also like that shirt

If Twitter is a rave then Facebook is a Tupperware party.