A family is on a trip in Jerusalem Halfway through the trip the wife's mother dies. The wife wants to bury her in Jerusalem because taking a dead body back to their home country is very expensive but the husband insists on taking her back. He eventually convinces her to fly the body back to their home country. The priest then asks them why they didn't bury her in Jerusalem and the husband replies ""They buried this other guy there once and he came back from the dead""

3 Men go to heaven... God: What would you like everyone to say at your funeral Billy? Billy: That ""I was a great father and caring husband of a beautiful wife."" God: ok, what about you George? George: That ""I was a great doctor and have saved many lives."" God: Alright, what about you Timmy? Timmy: I want them to say: ""Hey look! He's MOVING!""

Father I have fallen There was an old priest in a small town who spent years listening to confessions, most of which had been about adultery. One day he had enough and said ""If I get one more confession about adultery I will leave this town."" Now the people really liked the priest and didn't wanna see him leave so they decided to start calling adultery something else. Eventually the word fallen replaced the word adultery, and people would confess to having fallen. This satisfied the priest and…

Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away. At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, ""At last, they're finally together."" Her sister sitting in the front row said, ""Excuse me, Father, but do you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?"" The priest replied, ""I mean her legs."" -