If you never used that plastic thing that keeps pizza from sticking to the box lid as GI Joe's poker table you're too mature for me.

-Joe's coming over. "Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]

Joe: If you love it so much why don't you marry it? Jim: Hmm [Two weeks later] Jim: Meet my new wife! *holds up Joe's wife's potato salad*

So called "Trader" Joe's wouldn't let me pay with furs or rum or even live birds.