A man is plotting to kill his wife He hears about a hitman named Artie who will kill people for cheap. He decides to call this hitman and explain the situation. ""My wife is cheating on me and I want her dead. Kill her boyfriend if he's there too."" They meet up for the pay. Artie says ""Alright, I will do 1 dollar a person, so 2 dollars."" ""Whoa whoa, hold up a moment!"" The man says. ""What if her boyfriend isn't there?"" Artie thinks or a minute and says ""Alright, pay 1 dollar right now. If…

Prom Night A boy asks his girlfriend to the prom. When she says yes he says ""Since you do so much for me I will take care of everything."" He goes to buy the tickets but it is very busy, so he waits in line, waits in line, waits in line. He finally is able to get the tickets. He will go get a restaurant reservation next, but his phone is dead so he walks into one hoping to make one that day. The restaurant is packed so he waits in line, waits in line, waits in line. Finally he has a reservation…

Yet again my date made me get out of his car before we'd even had dinner. Uber is the worst dating app ever.

Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single