The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day…

" Thank you for calling the Law Offices of Johnson, Johnson, Johnson, & Johnson..." "how may I direct your call?" "May I speak with Mr Johnson please?" "Sorry he's in a meeting." "Well how about Mr Johnson then?" "Sorry, he's in court" "Is Mr Johnson there, perhaps?" "Sorry, he's on vacation." "Ok, how about Mr Johnson then?" "Speaking."

Bob and Joe Erect Signs and Lettering on Buildings… Bob and Joe erect signs and lettering on office buildings and factories. One afternoon, Joe is high on a ladder putting up lettering outside ‘Johnson and Pollocks Engineering.’ He’s got as far as ‘Johnson and’ so he shouts down to Bob, “Hey Bob, pass up the letter P will you?” Bob looks around the back of the van, searching high and low, then shouts back, “I can’t find a P. The only spare letter I can find is a B!” “Oh shit,” shouts down Jo…

The Captain called the Sergeant in... "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Smith's mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So, the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant, "Johnson report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh, by the way, Smith, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant int…