Bill and Hillary are sitting in a limo. As they are in the middle nowhere the driver tells them that they need to refuel. Seeing as there is only a single gas station for miles around the secret service race ahead to secure the location. When the Clinton's arrive they are greeted by the lone gas attendant. Hillary notices him and chuckles a bit as she explains to Bill that he was an old boyfriend of hers. Bill puts on a big grin and says ""Well aren't you glad you married me"". ""Not really"" Hi…

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors.

Sometimes to take a break from frightening election news, I watch something far less horrifying like 'The Shining' or 'Silence of the Lambs'

"the uk couldn't POSSIBLY leave" "trump couldn't POSSIBLY be president" "we couldn't POSSIBLY start eating each other out of necessity"