War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Homophobia is God's way of teaching us the names of Republican governors.

"the uk couldn't POSSIBLY leave" "trump couldn't POSSIBLY be president" "we couldn't POSSIBLY start eating each other out of necessity"

Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single

The Canadian election consists of two men apologizing till one concedes, the winner is then elected king of Canada. Or something like that.