Stranger adds me to facebook *has a panic attack* Creepy as hell stranger follows on twitter *does victory dance*

.@rickygervais Ricky, if you can get Twitter to verify me, you will be the first atheist allowed into heaven.

It's Palm Sunday and we didn't drink the wine out of a coconut? I don't know why this church even has a suggestion box.

Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.