On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, I'm at Mel Gibson drunk right now.

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar and sits down next to his best pirate bud, Randy. Randy looks at the pirate, leans over and asks, ""arrr matey, why are ye wearin a steerin wheel on ye belt buckle?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr, it's been drivin me nuts!""

Charlie Sheen walks into a bar... And orders a drink or two. Or three. Or four. And then gets into a barfight.

Why was Mel Gibson in a bar at 9am? He overslept.