New Lawyer After successfully passing the bar exam, a man opened his own law office. He was sitting idle at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him. ""Show him right in!"" our lawyer replied. As Mr. Jones was being ushered in our lawyer had an idea. He quickly picks up the phone and shouts into it "" ...and you tell them that we won't accept less then fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!"" Slamming the phone down he …

A lawyer walks into a bar... Mr. Jones, the lawyer, walked into a bar. The bartender poured him a drink, then noticed Mr. Jones had a black eye. ""What happened to you?"" asked the bartender. ""You look like you've been in a fight."" ""It's been just an awful day at work, I tell you what."" said Mr. Jones. ""I don't even work in workplace discrimination -- that's Mr. Baskett's specialty. Everyone knows I do divorce proceedings. But here comes this lady into my office, ranting till her face is bl…

My favorite joke!(sorry if its been posted before) So a man and woman are getting a divorce and are in court fighting for custody of their child. The judge ask the woman why should you get the the kid and she is saying how she was in labor and held the child in her womb.. The judge says good argument now Mr. Jones your argument.. He sits there and thinks for a moment and says if you put a dollar in a coke machine is the coke yours or the machines?

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.