The doctor told Harry Potter to drink 2L of Water a Day, but Harry didn't listen. Harry Potter and the Kidney Stone.

For my cake day, a joke... Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, ""Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."" Harry says, ""My God. What's the good news?"" The doctor says, ""I'm kidding. She's dead.""

Harry answers the telephone, & it's an Emergency Room doctor. The doctor says, ""Your wife was in a serious car accident, & I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms & both legs, & will need help eating & going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."" Harry says, ""My God. What's the good news?"" The doctor says, ""I'm kidding. She's dead.""

Fred: ""Why are you so upset?"" Harry: ""My wife introduced me to her psychiatrist this morning."" Fred: ""So what?"" Harry: ""So she said to him 'Doctor this is my husband. You know one of the men I've been telling you about'.""