The french minister of transport receive his counterpart from Uganda ... After the offical things, he invite him to his place, outside of Paris. The Ugandan minister is astonished, as the place is a well restored and luxurious XVI century castle. He then ask : - But, how did you pay for that ? I thought you came from a poor family. - Come at the window, says the French. Do you see the highway over there ? - Yes ... - Well, it was billed for 1 billion. But the real cost was only 700 millions. - O…

SOMEONE LEFT THEIR DOGS IN THE CAR WITH THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP -Ma'am, that's a pack of Ballpark All-Beef Franks. ITS 500 DEGREES IN THERE

"Is that a car alarm going off? Someone must be trying to steal it I better call the police!" - literally no one ever

Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless