Washing cars One day, little Jimmy was walking home from school when something catches his eye. Peering into a shop window he saw a brand new red bicycle. ""Wow,"" he thought to himself, ""that sure is a great looking bike but neither my parents or I can afford it!"". Jimmy stares at it in admiration for a few minutes before carrying on his journey home. Over dinner, he mentions this bicycle to his parents and how he desires to one day buy it for himself. His parents being the type to teach thei…

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening When the husband reached across the table, took his wife's hand in his and said, ""Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there's something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?"" Martha replied, ""Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I've been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason. Henry was obviously hurt by his wife's confession, but said, ""I n…

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course... An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course & heads straight to the bar/restaurant area of the club house. As he passes through the swinging doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads: COLD BEER: $5.00 HAMBURGER: $10.00 CHEESEBURGER: $15.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $18.50 HAND JOB: $250.00 Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar &am…

Some retired deputy sheriffs went to a retreat in the mountains. To save money, they decided to sleep two to a room. No one wanted to room with Daryl because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns. The first deputy slept with Daryl and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, ""Man, what happened to you?"" He said, ""Daryl snored so loudly, I just sat up a…