Three little old ladies die in a car crash... When they get to heaven, St. Peter is waiting to welcome them. ""Welcome, ladies,"" says Peter. ""We only have one rule up here, don't step on the ducks."" The three little old ladies look around and notice there are ducks everywhere, thousands of them. ""Why all the ducks?"" asks the first little old lady. ""God really likes ducks. Trust me, don't step on one,"" says Peter. The three little old ladies set off to explore paradise. They find it really…

So three mice get into Heaven... And they are greeted by St. Peter. Peter says to them ""Because you lived good lives, each of you gets one wish."" They say to Peter ""We spent our entire lives running from predators, and our legs got very tired. Can you give us skateboards to get around?"" Peter obliges, and they get three skateboards. About a week later, Peter is checking in on everybody in Heaven. He runs into the cat that died about a month earlier, and he asks how he is doing. The cat says …

So there was this zebra.... ... And he wanted to know if he was white with black stripes or black with white stripes. So, he asked St. Peter. St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but I can't answer that question for you. You'll have to go ask God.' Then the zebra made the long, arduous, and perilous journey up to heaven to talk to God. He asked God, 'God, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes?' God simply said, 'You are what you are.' 'Well hmmph,' said the zebra with a huff, 'Fat lot…

A zebra dies and goes to Heaven... A zebra dies and goes to Heaven. Upon reaching the pearly gates, he sees St. Peter. - **SP**: *Is there anything you would like to know before you enter Heaven?* **Z**: *You know, St. Peter, my whole life I've lived with this burden of never knowing the answer to one question: Am I white with black stripes, or black with white stripes?* **SP**: *Go, my friend, and as the Lord God Himself to give you the answer to that question. He will give you what you …