He is on that bird call website a lot. - My Mom describing me on twitter to older relatives at get-togethers.

The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.

It's like Maury doesn't even care who the real father of my kitten is.

My mother would give you 11 dollars for a dog turd if you told her it normally costs 15.