The year is 2027. Voice to text is flawless. A young child points at a bird and says, "Duck". His mother slaps him.

My mother would give you 11 dollars for a dog turd if you told her it normally costs 15.

I spent an hour explaining how WiFi works to my dad and my dog. The dog gets it.

11yo: Daddy, why can't we get a dog? Me: I like our house the way it is. 11: What, small? Me: Go to your drawer.