Celebrating christmas in another country, santa leaves a chicken cutlet in my boot. "Is that good?" No one will make eye contact with me.

How early do I need to start thawing the cat for Thanksgiving?

My nephew told me all he wants for Christmas is his dead dog back. Can't WAIT to see his face when I wrap it up and stick it under the tree.

Can't believe it's the Chinese New Year. I'm still writing Rabbit on all of my checks.