"Can you validate my parking?" "You parked beautifully. Your dad would be proud." *wipes away tears* "Thanks."

My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs.

I never understood how a mother could lift a car with a child trapped under, until my phone got stuck under my bed.

My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times.