My son challenged my wife & I to a game of hide-and-seek. We took off for the weekend and left him some food. In your face, loser!

*wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months* "Have you had the kid yet?" -No "Well, I'm level 77 on candy crush."

Maybe there is no baby I'm starting to suspect my wife's been stuffing her shirt with an increasingly large series of hams Now I'm hungry.

Completely true. I think it makes for a great joke My husband wrestles with being the only man known to mankind to be able to muster the most sulphorous and nose bleeding farts with nothing but the consumption of water. I mean these bad boys send me flying out of bed at night to escape the torment. We were in Walmart the other day and decided to split up in order to keep our time at Wally World to a minimum. About ten minutes go by and my husband comes racing down the aisle laughing so hard tear…