The wife & I fought last night. Saying things that can't be taken back. Like perishable goods. Baby food. DVDs with broken seals. Underwear.

Completely true. I think it makes for a great joke My husband wrestles with being the only man known to mankind to be able to muster the most sulphorous and nose bleeding farts with nothing but the consumption of water. I mean these bad boys send me flying out of bed at night to escape the torment. We were in Walmart the other day and decided to split up in order to keep our time at Wally World to a minimum. About ten minutes go by and my husband comes racing down the aisle laughing so hard tear…

The Man of the House A husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, You Can Be THE Man of Your House. Finding new courage that he never knew he had, he stormed into the kitchen and announced to his wife, ""From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the 'Law.' You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, bring it to me, and when I am done eating my meal, you will clear the dishes and serve me a scrumptious dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upsta…

A black guy was holding his eight-month-old baby while his wife was in the kitchen fixing lunch. The baby murmured, ""mother."" The guy gets all excited and hollered to his wife, ""Hey, the baby just said half a word!""