Scooter Three men die in a car accident. They all go to heaven, and God asks the first one... ""how faithful were you to your wife?"" He says "" I cheated only 4 times."" God says aight. Not bad. You can have a Toyota corolla. Second guy same question, just once on a business trip. God is like ok that's great. Cadillac. Third dude...never...God says rolls royce. Two days later rolls Royce guy sitting on curb in tears. other dudes all like oh shit it's dat Boi wud up? Why u cry? He's replies. I s…

Three guys are out jogging... ...and they turn a corner and are hit by a truck, killing all three. They are then standing in front of St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter asks the first one, ""How many times did you cheat on your wife?"" The first answers, ""Honestly, at least twice a week, every week that I was married. I just couldn't help myself!"" St. Peter says, ""We know, that's why you get a moped to ride around Heaven with."" The guy jumps on the moped and rides off. To the next, St.…

[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."

A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot.