Zebra dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter greets him and informs him that all newcomers to heaven are allowed a single question to ask of The Almighty. Pete gestures to a magnificent pedestal nearby and says to Zebra, "just step up there and ask away." Zebra walks over to the pedestal and nervously steps on. The pedestal immediately illuminates with blinding light and a booming voice from above echoes, "WHAT TRUTH DOES THY SEEK MY CHILD?" Zebra looks up an…

Be Fruitful and Multiply A dead-beat Dad died and went to Heaven. He was greeted at the Golden Gate by St. Peter, who warmly shook his hand and asked him to sit down next to him. Looking over the dead-beat Dad's file, St. Peter frowned and shook his head sadly. ''Your record looks fine, except for one glaring item. Why the hell didn't you pay child support for your six kids?'' The man jumped up. ''Child support?! All God said in Genesis was 'Be fruitful and multiply.' He didn't say nothin' about…

Joe dies... And when he arrives to the gates of heaven, St. Peter tells him: ""Well, Joe, you've been a good man your whole life, you deserve a second chance. I'll bring you back to life, but you can only choose between living as either a caterpillar it a chicken"" He thinks ""Hmmm... Well, if I were a caterpillar I'd get eaten by a chicken, I think it's better if I do the eating. I'll be a Chicken, Mr St. Peter!"" ""Very well"" said St. Peter as he threw Joe back to Earth, only now in chicken f…

Three men die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter welcomes them and says, ""Before you go in, I just need to mark down for my records how much money you made, and what you did as your profession while you were on Earth."" The first guy says, ""I made ten million dollars a year."" St. Peter says, ""Wow, that's very impressive! What did you do?"" The guy says, ""I was the head of a big finance firm that processed tons of money."" St. Peter writes this down, and tells the first man he …