3 guys die and go to heaven... St. Peter was at the gate and said, "However faithful you were to your wife, that will determine the vehicle you will get in heaven". The first guy comes up to the gate and says, "I never, ever cheated on my wife; she was the love of my life and I told her every day. ". St. Peter smiled and handed him the keys to a brand spanking new Ferrari. The next man stepped forward and said, "I cheated on my wife just once. It was the biggest regret of my life, and I sti…

[wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."

A lady told me that Autism is punishment for the sins of the parent. That is the story of me punching a lady in a church parking lot.

Highway to Hell is my favorite wedding song.