A lawyer was driving in the middle of nowhere... A telephone pole was suddenly struck by lightning, falling in front of the lawyer, causing him to swerve into a ditch and total his car. He got out of his car and looked around. In the distance, he saw a pink-striped house. He walked to the house, went up a pink-striped sidewalk, knocked on a pink-striped door, and was greeted by a pink-striped man who asked, "How can I help you?" "I wrecked my car down the road," said the lawyer. "Can I use …

Two lawyers are walking down the street A set of hot blonde twins walk past them. The first lawyer turns to the second lawyer and says, "you know, we should try to screw those girls." The second lawyer says, "Out of what?"

A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates. A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments. ""Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest penthouse suit."" ""This is unfair!"" cried the minister. ""Listen,"" Saint Peter said, ""ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen.""

A forester and a Lawyer die... So a Forester and a Lawyer die and go to heaven. They're greeted at the gates by their guide. He motions for them to follow and leads them down a beautiful, gold washed path. At the end of the path they reach a solid gold mansion, glittering in the sun. The Guide turns to the Lawyer and says,""This is where you will spend eternity. We hope it's to your liking."" The Lawyer thanks him profusely and enters the mansion. The guide motions to the Forester and they move …