Two lawyers are having lunch. An attractive woman walks in, and one lawyer whispers to the other ""See that hot babe over there? I screwed her!"" The second lawyer looks her over very carefully, then turns back to the first lawyer and says ""Out of what?""

A lawyer was driving in the middle of nowhere... A telephone pole was suddenly struck by lightning, falling in front of the lawyer, causing him to swerve into a ditch and total his car. He got out of his car and looked around. In the distance, he saw a pink-striped house. He walked to the house, went up a pink-striped sidewalk, knocked on a pink-striped door, and was greeted by a pink-striped man who asked, "How can I help you?" "I wrecked my car down the road," said the lawyer. "Can I use …

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, that the game is a lot of fun. ""I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."" This catches the blonde's attention, and- to keep him quiet- …

A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates. A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments. ""Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest penthouse suit."" ""This is unfair!"" cried the minister. ""Listen,"" Saint Peter said, ""ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen.""