Guy walks into a bar... ...and orders a drink. He's carrying a brown paper bag, which he sets down on the bar. The bartender asks ""What's in the bag?"" The guy says ""Wanna see?"" He reaches into the bag and pulls out a very tiny grand piano and sets it on the bar. Then he reaches back into the bag and pulls out a tiny man dressed in a tuxedo. The little man sits down at the little piano and begins playing a song. The bartender says ""That's amazing! Where'd you get that?"" The guy explains he …

I enjoyed your vampire joke and remembered this one, check it out. There was this bar for vampires only. It was crowded with famous and rich vampires like Dracula, Nosferatu, Edward, Selene, Victor... Dracula himself was enjoying a cup of 18 y/o O negative, delicious. And this skinny looking vampire enters the bar and asks for a cup of hot water. No blood. The bartender is a bit skeptical - ""what are you doing with a cup of hot water?!"" ""just found a used tampon, gonna make myself some tea""

A vampire walked into a bar... A vampire walks into a bar and orders a shot of blood. The bartender give the vampire a shot of blood. Vampire pays, drinks, says thanks and then leaves. The next time the vampire walks into the bar, orders a shot of blood, same thing happens. Bartender gives the shot of blood, vampire pays drinks and leaves. Third time the vampire walked into the bar, the bartender gets ready to poor a shot of blood. Vampire says ""no thanks I would just like a mug of hot water pl…

Bubba n' Buford Bubba n' Buford were sittin' on their porch one afternoon drinkin' beer n' bein' entertained by the bug zapper when this semi haulin' sod comes over the hill n' passes in front of their trailer. Bubba declares, ""When we get rich I'm gonna do that!"". Buford, asks ""Do what?"". Bubba looks at Buford like he's a idiot n' says, ""Well duh, send our grass out to get it cut like them folks!"".