Oh, you want me to watch everything you have in less than the one-month free trial period? Challenge accepted, Netflix.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

If you roll out your chapstick more than an inch, I'll see you in court.

what does the Bible say about faking your own death to get out of jury duty