If I die, bury me with fire extinguishers. Because: Hell

God: I made a rainbow! Devil: I'm making all the fire alarm batteries die in the middle of the night.

*sees cars lined up outside church* wife: Is that a funeral or a wedding? me: What's the difference?

[cemetery] *priest says a final prayer* *harambe's casket is lowered into the ground* *toddler falls in*