My kid just told me all she wants for Christmas is a bell so she can "make lots of money like the man outside walmart."

When I was a kid we were so poor... If I didn't wake up at christmas with a hard-on I'd have nothing to play with.

Just saved a bunch of money on my Glenn from The Walking Dead Halloween costume by not showering for a month.

I would pay so much money to watch the Harlem Globetrotters change a baby.