Putin lands at Helsinki airport... ...and the immigration officer says ""Name?"". ""Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin"". ""Address?"" ""Kremlin

You think das ist a long time? Obama, Putin and Merkel meet in Hamburg for a private summit, and Merkel decides to break the ice with a nice walk around the lake (Alster). Obama, admiring the foliage, says ""you know, in the States, we have forests so vast, that some military training exercises last as long as 2 years."" Putin replies, ""Ah yes, but Comrade, the vastness and beauty of the Siberian wilderness is such that our soldiers don't leave for 4 years!"" Merkel, being the peace-keeper betw…

Vladimir Putin is in the line for customs when he arrives at Poland for a summit. Customs Officer: ""Name?"" Putin: ""Vladimir Putin."" Customs Officer: ""Nationality?"" Putin: ""Russian."" Customs Officer: ""Occupation?"" Putin: ""No, just visiting.""

Two Russian motorcycle cops are sitting on the side of the road. This was a joke Ronald Reagan told about Gorbachev, but most people probably forgot about Gorbachev, so I made it about Putin. These two Russian motorcycle cops are sitting on the side of a Russian highway. They both get a call from the Russian government telling them that every car caught speeding is to be pulled over and sent straight to jail. Now, Vladamir Putin was in a huge hurry that day, and he told his limo driver to s…