My wife always tells me that I treat my kid unfair. I don't even know which one she means. Thomas

[kidnapper hands wife phone] "brent" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED

The most unrealistic thing about The Walking Dead is that a couple who had a kid after 2000 would've named it Carl.

How come when a child shouts "This is dumb" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?