[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer.

Dance like no one is threatening to call the police if you don't take your boombox and leave the Christian Science Reading Room immediately.

Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out

An old couple go shopping... ... At the grocery store. The wife continuously nags the husband about the cost of all the things he wants to buy and he grumbles back at her. When they get to the canned fruit aisle she looks at a can of peaches and exclaims ""that's ridiculous!"" at the price. Looking both ways, she slips it into her purse. After they leave the store a police officer stops them, informing her she was seen stealing the peaches on video. When she gets to court to answer for her crime…