[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer.

Cop: Know why I stopped u? Scientist: No Cop: How much science u do tonite? Scientist: Just one-[test tube falls from coat] Cop: Get out

My 10 year old niece said her science teacher entered her in a science fair I said, call the police!

A Russian officer is giving his cadets a lesson about chemistry. He says: ""Cadets, write down: the temperature of boiling water is 90."" One of the privates replies, ""Comrade praporshchik, you're mistaken it's 100!"" The officer consults his handbook, and then announces, ""Right, 100. It is a *right angle* that boils at 90.""