You think das ist a long time? Obama, Putin and Merkel meet in Hamburg for a private summit, and Merkel decides to break the ice with a nice walk around the lake (Alster). Obama, admiring the foliage, says ""you know, in the States, we have forests so vast, that some military training exercises last as long as 2 years."" Putin replies, ""Ah yes, but Comrade, the vastness and beauty of the Siberian wilderness is such that our soldiers don't leave for 4 years!"" Merkel, being the peace-keeper betw…

A guy walks in to a restroom..... and sees president Obama and president Putin at the urinal talking. The guy: what are you talking about? Obama: How we are going to start world war 3. Putin: Our idea is that we kill 50.000 Ukrainians and an it-consultant. The guy: why an it-consultant? Putin says to Obama. Ha, told you no one would care about the Ukrainians!

Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane... The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes. The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others agree and the president grabs a bag and jumps out…

President Obama visits the Pentagon... President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology. A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?" Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."