A guy walks in to a restroom..... and sees president Obama and president Putin at the urinal talking. The guy: what are you talking about? Obama: How we are going to start world war 3. Putin: Our idea is that we kill 50.000 Ukrainians and an it-consultant. The guy: why an it-consultant? Putin says to Obama. Ha, told you no one would care about the Ukrainians!

Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane... The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes. The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others agree and the president grabs a bag and jumps out…

BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities.

What was the General's answer... to the President's inquiry, as to what military division has been most under appreciated during his term? ""Tanks, Obama.""